I Corinthians 7:34 is an observation, not a command.

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The women I meet! Who's teaching women that, as singles, God is their God, but once married, husband is their God; wife gets brownie points with God for serving husband instead of God; & once husband dies, the wife is free to serve God again or get another husband to serve.

This came up in my life recently.  I'm 55 and have been married for 23 years. I am not a "new" young adult female in a new marriage.  

This TPM is a response based on his interpretation of that scripture.  I met him where he was. Let's flesh, or rather, flush this out according to his interpretation, which is the interpretation of alot of men and alot of women who might be dodging their own personal call.

I've known wives, mostly pastors's wives, who lived this.  They wandered around "lost" after hubby's death because they didn't have a "calling" anymore, because their calling was to serve a husband.  According to the interpretation of some, I would think that these women would be happy and free, but they didn't seem to be.  

I am comfortable in knowing that a husband doesn't replace God in a woman's life and that women are allowed by God to live for Him and walk in their calling and run their own personal race, regardless of marital status.

I was raised in a Holiness organization.  When Holiness "came to town", the women received the gift of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in other tongues.  They were thrown out of the Baptist churches.  Most husbands stayed in the Baptist churches.  The marriages stayed in tact. The couples and children still gathered for outings, vacations and other things Holiness folk were allowed to partake in.  The husbands served God in their denomination.  The women served God in their denomination. This life experience helped me to be comfortable with knowing that  I have a calling other than serving my man, without conflict, without comparison, and without competition.

How many singles women believe they are not as valuable to God because they worship Him themselves instead of with the assistance or leading of a man in the home?  I have no qualms about not needing the husband to do the praying, read the scriptures and do devotions in order for me to feel like God cares about me.  I don't teach single women that their prayers, worship, Bible reading, studying, and other forms of worship are not "as good" as if they were led by a man.  My God doesn't reject the worship offerings of single women because they aren't married.  My God doesn't reject the worship offerings of married women if they are offered by the women instead of the husbands.  My God doesn't step back as God when a woman gets married and says, to the man, "You're her god now.  I'll be back to be her God when you're dead."  Nope.  I don't believe God does that.

Is it supposed to be some type of punishment that a married woman has to serve the husband instead of God?  OR, is it a reward? 

I knew of a woman who stopped going to church during football season and began partaking of a particular substance because her pastor told her that she was to serve her husband, and also draw him to Christ by doing what he wanted her to do.  It didn't work.  She missed alot of church and had some issues with some substances.

Too, I have known women who have used their husband, delightedly, to get "permission" to do something that the denomination believed God was against. I guess that 'serve the husband" thing can come in handy sometimes.

Consider this: I believe people use this when it supports their need to get certain things done and don't want to hire someone.  Perhaps, this scripture is used when the person is afraid to step out and forces the spouse to step out with them OR the person is such a mean person that no one else will help them.   Make the spouse deny their own race and "serve" spouse.  Didn't the Europeans use scripture to get folks to "serve" them?  Hmmm. 

Now, we know that spouses help each other wholly or partially in matters of projects and assignments that need to be accomplished, but I refuse to believe that I am to deny my race and God for the sake of another persons' and that God will give wives brownie points and entrance into Heaven for ignoring HIM and making the spouse their god.  

Come to think of it, maybe it can be looked at this way, too:  If husband doesn't mind what wife does spiritually and doesn't require the wife to make him her god, then she is serving him by obeying the (dare I say) "freedom" hubby "gives" her?  Hmph.  I'll take that one! 

By the way, if leaders really believe that the wife is supposed to drop her being and serve the husband as if he is her God, then why don't those leaders gather all the married women who are attending their church alone because hubby doesn't want to attend, tell them to go home and stay home with that husband, at his pleasure, until he decides that she can go.  Understanding that most churches are majority female, tithes are paid by majority female, worship/singing/ushering/teaching/cooking/serving the community for the sake of the church is done mostly by females, leaders probably won't invite the married but alone women to stay home.  

Look, let the wheat and the tares grow together.  If married women who won't replace God with their husband are to be considered tares, then leave them alone. God said so.

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