Woman, do you ever feel like a dead tree, even though you know God has filled you with living water and knowledge/wisdom that needs to be shared? Well, be encouraged. Do what's necessary to go from feeling like a dead tree to BEING the fruitful, flowering tree that God wants to make you.
When they say, "You are a strong woman." or "You are an independent woman.", are they being insulting? Are they suggesting that weak and dependent is what they expect the norm to be for women?
Isaiah 61"For the Spirit of the Lord God is upon me;.." https://www.biblegateway.com/audio/mclean/kjv/Isa.61
Nov - Links to TPM Wearables for purchase.
Oct - Mistaken for the side piece.
July - I Cor 7:34 - An Observation, not a Command.
May - Women, we change the atmosphere.
March - Women's History:
Black Women Preachers;
No More Smallin' Up of Me; Our Greatest Fear.
February - Valentines...daily!
Dec - Christmas..don't get too deep.
Nov - Happy Thanksgiving!
October - That's not worship.
August - The devil is a liar!
July - Where do you f-i-t?
June - "No" instead of "Go".
April - Let them "kill" you.
March-Woman, You are good
February - What ministry is calling you?
January - Woman, Go!
November-Don't be a Jonah.
October - It's Time for a new
September - Youth, here is something you can conquer.
July - Passive/Aggressive Leaders.
June - It's hard to leave.
May - Woman, why are you
April - Passive/Aggressive people.
March - God will give you His
own special pulpit
Feb - Rejection can be a blessing.
January - Snakes in your life.
Interesting point: A bully who claims to dislike you, will make every attempt to keep everyone's attention on you. They make sure everyone is watching you, what you're wearing, how you sit, what you eat, how your hair looks, how you work or study, and especially how you react to how the bully points you out, makes others afraid to speak to you, makes others hate you, etc. The bully always keeps the attention on the disliked person rather than trying to keep attention off the disliked person. Perhaps, the bully feels insecure and keeps the attention on the disliked person so people don't have time to see whatever is wrong with the bully that the bully wants to hide about him/herself. Perhaps, the bully doesn't dislike/hate you at all. Perhaps the bully admires you and hates self because she/he (not YOU) thinks that she/he is lesser than you. So, what could be secret admiration is manifested in open "hate". Remember Samson vs the Philistines? Since she/he can't figure out how you are who you are, so that she/he can be as strong and self-loving as you, she/he would rather kill you...which is ridiculous because quickly she will find someone else that she admires...um.... "dislikes" and has to start the bullying all over again. It's so much easier and less time-comsuming and less stressful to just love and like yourself. It takes work, but do the work. Period.
..the person who is embarrassed about their decisions and then tries to make other's think you are in the same bad situations that they are in. They try to bring you down to the level they believe they are on, rather than making better decisions about their life.
...that one who discredits anything serious and direct that you say, but will make sure to try to do or repeat something you say off the cuff. Tell them that Jesus Christ saves and heals and they refuse to believe it. Tell them to jump off a bridge and they will try to tell your friends that you suggested they kill themselves or they will go looking for a bridge to jump off (yes, an exaggeration, but you know what I mean). Ask them to meet and pray every weekend. They will refuse. Tell them to stop coming with that attitude, so they stop coming and tells everyone that you told them to stop coming. Narcissistic. Fake martyrs. Dramatic.
...that person who won't let you talk...AND IF they ask you a question or you jump in during a pause, they immediately have to put you on hold or something distracts them so that they don't "hear" anything you say and have the nerve to ask you to repeat it. UGH! Look, I was taught that the devil always tells you who he is. They are telling you that they control the relationship - whatever kind it is - and that you should just sit there like a dog and worship them. Believe them. Avoid them, if you can. If you can, show no interest in them...in as polite a way as possible. If you can't avoid them, then let them talk. They can't help themselves. They don't know. Let it go.
...that one who is nice to you alone, but in the group, they huddle with others, act like they dread you, don't want to hear you, whisper/make faces if you say something, etc. Get them out of your life. Period. Two-faced. Double-minded. Can't stand up to others if others are insisting that they treat you that way. Possibly ill, mentally, which is beyond their control, but doesn't make it easier for you to deal with. Seek your peace and pray that God connects them with whoever can help them.
...pseudo invitations, which goes along with the person who likes you in private but dislikes you in public. They will inform you of plans as if the plans include you (this includes Significant others and spouses or relatives). When you arrive, they bow to others at the gathering. If others approve of you, your "date" is okay (maybe). If others do not approve of you, your "date" pretends they didn't invite you and that you invited yourself. I've seen this, been this and even witnessed it in church situations (ex: Male minister arrives and is invited to a particular section, but wife/daughter/mother minister is not invited with him.
...church people who invite you or yours to make a presentation, then say they have someone else to do present...every time. Weird. Messy. Strange.
...the one who changes the atmosphere, for the worse. You have a great time. The next time you hear of the encounter, mutual acquaintances suddenly dislike you. Hmmm. Who turned the tables on you so quickly? The snake with whom you thought you had a good encounter. Once you figure this out, remove yourself from the relationship. I had several experiences like that with a particular person. If I said someone had on cute shoes, the next time I saw that person, they hated me...because snake told them that I "talked about what they were wearing" and mixed it with her evil, spiteful spirit, so the person would be angry with me. Ugh! I am so tired of messy folk.
...that ONE who disputes everything you say. If you say the sky is blue, they will google to see if the actual color is blue. If you say, they did a great job on the project, they will get angry and argue with you. YOU are the problem. Deal with it. Move on. Find nicer people to hang with.
...the Significant Other who has spent so much time trying to hide from you, even in matters you don't even care about. Frankly, they did you a favor because you didn't like them either - lol! - and that their absences gave you time to do what you were called to do and hang out with who you wanted to hang out with. Do not blame yourself. People have their own reasons for being who they are. James 1:5. They were weird before they met you - lol!
This is long, so Part II will be continued in January 2019.
THE only reason I write about this is that we are so apt to give people another chance (over and over again), feel like we must be nice (especially if it's a relative, work leader, church member, etc), think we have no where else to "go", find it inconvenient to go somewhere else or find a new circle, fear of the unknown (which is not better than the presently negative known).
...to be continued...
The "Thought Provoking" rendering of the popular Psalm 23 bracelet. Each color represents a verse. Copy the eBay link, at the bottom of the page, to see bracelets. Purchase today!
Each color represents a verse. Visit www.etsy.com/shop.becmin to see all the bracelets for sale. Purchase one today. Wear this conversation piece daily, with any outfit alone or paired with your other bracelets and jewelry, to be reminded that The Shepherd is always with you and to inspire others with it's message of hope and encouragement.
Noah built an ark even though he didn't know what rain was. Jonah asked to be thrown overboard into the water, which would lead to detainment and mental evaluation, these days. Obama ran for President...anyway. You did what God told you to do and prospered. Obey, even when it looks wrong.
During a particularly interesting situation this year, God reminded me of some ways He has shown me that He was with me.
One of those incidences, a few years ago, involved a gift card.
My husband volunteered at a particular place on a regular basis. Others who he volunteered with became friends. Some volunteered alone, others volunteered with their spouses. Now, both my husband and I have the volunteer spirit. I've been an avid volunteer, making sure to add or change where I volunteered yearly, from around 1980 until the early 2000s. He has been a volunteer since we married in the mid 90s. We've always had separate volunteer interest, due to the nature of the volunteerism, our schedules and the fact that we, like everyone else in this world, are individuals with individual interests and callings.
Well, at the particular place I'm referring to in this post, there were people who thought we should volunteer together. I wasn't interested. My husband didn't care that I wasn't interested because of one particular aspect of the situation. It was a long-term event that revolved mainly around men, anyway. Core workers were both genders, all ages. Volunteers were diverse in many ways.
So, there were volunteers, who I barely knew, that decided to have an issue with me not helping. I can't remember how they informed me, because I rarely saw them, but I got the "this is how you need to support your husband" suggestions. I was livid. I have NEVER approached a spouse to tell them how to support their spouse. Even if a spouse has spoken to me about something, I wouldn't dare approach their spouse about the conversation. If one can't talk to their own spouse about issues, I'm certainly not doing it for them. Anyway, the few times I participated, I got the side eye, the attitude and the avoidance. I couldn't go off on them...well, I did, a little, but not like I really wanted to.
Anyway, once per year, the organization gave a gift card to each volunteer. I was not on the list, didn't want to be on the list because I was not a participant. My few appearances there were only to be with my husband. But, every time he got a card, he gave it to me. I didn't ask for it. I didn't expect to get it. It was his. He and I don't get in each other's personal money business.
One year, the last year they gave gift cards, was particularly aggravating for me because i really felt the ire of other volunteers - nosey, busby bodies. That year, my husband was handed several gift cards to give to others in his group. He handed out the cards and brought me his card. I took it to the store and spent the small amount that's always on the card. The cashier handed the card back and said that I had $225 left on the card. I asked her to check it three more times. I was shocked. I texted my husband that a decimal point must have been keyed incorrectly when the cards were ordered for the volunteer organization and I got one that had much more money on it than it should have. He told me he check with the organization and they said to keep it, don't worry about it. I was delighted. God quickly let me know that He gave me that card and He knew the reason I wasn't a volunteer for that event and He was pleased.
When people don't understand your "no", stand on what God told you to do. He will surely let you know that He's on your side because He's the one that gave the command to you to say "No". Situations aren't just about you. Situations are about everyone involved, for whatever reason they need to be in the situation. My "no" was fro me, others and God.
side piece. other woman. her! or him! mistress. side chick. best friend. affair. (Risking the incorrect use of grammatical sentence structure, I didn't dare capitalize any of those words)
Generally, you would think a cheater would hide the other woman and not let her know where he engages in social, spiritual or family events for fear that she might appear and put him under pressure of the lies he's told her about kicking his family to the side and bringing her fully into his life. What the nut does is he treats you - his Wife - that way. He sneaks to do whatever he does - social fellowship, church, entertainment, ministry, and volunteerism. Yet, the side piece knows his whereabouts and is often included, which is what you would think he would do with his wife. You, Wifey, find out when you see the pictures of the gatherings and events or acquaintances question you as to why you weren't "there". "There, where? I didn't know about it." But, she did and was there, too.
Proverbs 5- 15 "Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well." Just read the whole chapter.
Pictures! You would think that a husband would take pictures, candid shots or posed, of or with his wife and kids. But your smart husband takes pictures of side chick, smiling, having fun, enjoying life...not in a group of other people, but individual pictures of her. So deceived.
Song of Solomon 7:10 - "I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me."
When you two are (amazingly) together at an event, whether he knows others there or not, he acts like he doesn't know you. He has so convinced people that he does not like you and has spoken against you so many times, that he has to remember to act like he doesn't like you in front of the people to whom he's disparaged you. Stupid (having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense). Why? He got out of the car with you, wears the wedding ring you gave him, goes home with you, pays the bills you two make together, but IS convinced that if he doesn't talk to you or avoids being around you in the presence of others at events (and even church), then they will be convinced that he isn't married to you. Yet, he and the side chick always have something to laugh and sniggle and coo about.
He and the side piece actually think they are more "saved" and Christian than you - the WIFE. The MARRIED man and his girlfrIend actually think God prefers them over his MARRIED self and his WIFE.
Deuteronomy 11:16 - "Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them;" A few years ago, I did a TPM teaching how we do but should not worship our feelings and emotions. We should not make a god of our feelings and emotions. Live holy. Stick with the one your with. Don't be a cheater. Don't suffer the mistreatment of a cheater and that goes for the Wife and the side piece.
By the way, how often do humans do the same with God and our relationship with Him? So we not invite Him to certain places? Do we act like we don't know Him around certain people? After treating Him as if we don't know Him, we rush to Him in times of need or privacy. Are we humans cheaters, double-minded, unstable about Jesus in our lives. Hmmmm. Peter said he didn't know the man.
Luke 22:54-62 Peter said about Jesus 57'...I know him not." 58 "...I am not." 60 ".. Man, I know not..."
Many years ago, in the late 90s, I was attending a Women's Conference at the church I attended. The place was packed, so my seat was at the back. Before the service began, my pastor and a man walked through the front door and walked up the middle of the aisle. The man had no head. I wasn't startled because God has shown me many a weird thing. Now, mind you, I was usually early and the Pastor and his wife were always early. He normally entered the sanctuary through the side door. Once worshipers gathered or the service started, I never saw him come up the middle aisle. Once, he and the headless man went through the sanctuary, and through the door leading downstairs. Later, after service, while I was downstairs handling whatever I was supposed to handle, the pastor stopped me to introduce me to the man. By then, the man had a head. When he shook my hand, anger flashed through me. I was shocked. The pastor looked at me puzzled because he noticed the quick flash of anger on my face. It wasn't may anger. I didn't know the man. He had not offended or disrespected me in any manner. God told me that it was His anger that I felt. I went on and put the experience in the back of my mind.
Fast forward about three weeks. The pastor send another Elder and I to a three-day Church planting course at ITC. There was a man there, who I didn't recognize, that I ended up paired up with for lunch a couple of times. He mentioned that he had attended the Women's Conference a few weeks earlier and he went on to ask me who the ladies were that lead Praise service at the Women's conference, which I answered not with their names but with their statuses and positions in the church, but I still didn't recognize him. The other Elder changed groups and went with us. We were all married. I sat in the back seat and teased the man about the earring I found in the seat. You know the old-time teasing about a woman leaving one earring in the back seat of a man's car. They laughed and he stated that he had a wife and two or three daughters. He didn't seem to have a job but traveled around the South, attending conferences and church services.
The final day, the class participants had to break into groups and create a church, every aspect of the church, and a worship scenario. When we returned from our groups to make our presentations, his group was frustrated with him. They explained that they created the church and made him pastor, but had to fire him and "run him out of town" because he couldn't decide how many children he had. At some point in the "creating a church" assignment, he kept changing his mind about how many daughters he had. They became frustrated with him and fired him in their practice church. As soon as the group finished explaining the situation, God opened my eyes and explained the headless man.
God said to me that the man was the headless man He showed me weeks earlier at church. God went on to tell me that He showed the man to me as headless because God no longer considered him the head of the household/marriage because the man was married but traveled from place to place looking for church women to have affairs with, particularly praise and worship leaders. Then, I became alarmed, realizing that he had been at that Women's Conference to scope out the ladies on the Praise Team. How he ended up in the course with the other Elder and I still escapes me. Maybe, the pastor told him the plan to send the two of us there and this guy signed up for it. Maybe, it was a coincidence. He was the only one at the course that was there alone, as in, no one else was there with him from his church, whereas all other participants attended the three-day course in groups of two, three or more from their church fellowship.
He was headless because God no longer considered him the head of his household/marriage because he was a cheater. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin-eater as Gayle would say. We are expected to mature into a position of long-suffering (Galatians 5), but not forever suffering, like God, who has a limit. God has a limit, so should everyone else.
Feel free to leave a comment with a pseudonym or contact me privately via email, cell, or private FB message, to maintain your anonymity.
The women I meet! Who's teaching women that, as singles, God is their God, but once married, husband is their God; wife gets brownie points with God for serving husband instead of God; & once husband dies, the wife is free to serve God again or get another husband to serve.
This came up in my life recently. I'm 55 and have been married for 23 years. I am not a "new" young adult female in a new marriage.
This TPM is a response based on his interpretation of that scripture. I met him where he was. Let's flesh, or rather, flush this out according to his interpretation, which is the interpretation of alot of men and alot of women who might be dodging their own personal call.
I've known wives, mostly pastors's wives, who lived this. They wandered around "lost" after hubby's death because they didn't have a "calling" anymore, because their calling was to serve a husband. According to the interpretation of some, I would think that these women would be happy and free, but they didn't seem to be.
I am comfortable in knowing that a husband doesn't replace God in a woman's life and that women are allowed by God to live for Him and walk in their calling and run their own personal race, regardless of marital status.
I was raised in a Holiness organization. When Holiness "came to town", the women received the gift of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in other tongues. They were thrown out of the Baptist churches. Most husbands stayed in the Baptist churches. The marriages stayed in tact. The couples and children still gathered for outings, vacations and other things Holiness folk were allowed to partake in. The husbands served God in their denomination. The women served God in their denomination. This life experience helped me to be comfortable with knowing that I have a calling other than serving my man, without conflict, without comparison, and without competition.
How many singles women believe they are not as valuable to God because they worship Him themselves instead of with the assistance or leading of a man in the home? I have no qualms about not needing the husband to do the praying, read the scriptures and do devotions in order for me to feel like God cares about me. I don't teach single women that their prayers, worship, Bible reading, studying, and other forms of worship are not "as good" as if they were led by a man. My God doesn't reject the worship offerings of single women because they aren't married. My God doesn't reject the worship offerings of married women if they are offered by the women instead of the husbands. My God doesn't step back as God when a woman gets married and says, to the man, "You're her god now. I'll be back to be her God when you're dead." Nope. I don't believe God does that.
Is it supposed to be some type of punishment that a married woman has to serve the husband instead of God? OR, is it a reward?
I knew of a woman who stopped going to church during football season and began partaking of a particular substance because her pastor told her that she was to serve her husband, and also draw him to Christ by doing what he wanted her to do. It didn't work. She missed alot of church and had some issues with some substances.
Too, I have known women who have used their husband, delightedly, to get "permission" to do something that the denomination believed God was against. I guess that 'serve the husband" thing can come in handy sometimes.
Consider this: I believe people use this when it supports their need to get certain things done and don't want to hire someone. Perhaps, this scripture is used when the person is afraid to step out and forces the spouse to step out with them OR the person is such a mean person that no one else will help them. Make the spouse deny their own race and "serve" spouse. Didn't the Europeans use scripture to get folks to "serve" them? Hmmm.
Now, we know that spouses help each other wholly or partially in matters of projects and assignments that need to be accomplished, but I refuse to believe that I am to deny my race and God for the sake of another persons' and that God will give wives brownie points and entrance into Heaven for ignoring HIM and making the spouse their god.
Come to think of it, maybe it can be looked at this way, too: If husband doesn't mind what wife does spiritually and doesn't require the wife to make him her god, then she is serving him by obeying the (dare I say) "freedom" hubby "gives" her? Hmph. I'll take that one!
By the way, if leaders really believe that the wife is supposed to drop her being and serve the husband as if he is her God, then why don't those leaders gather all the married women who are attending their church alone because hubby doesn't want to attend, tell them to go home and stay home with that husband, at his pleasure, until he decides that she can go. Understanding that most churches are majority female, tithes are paid by majority female, worship/singing/ushering/teaching/cooking/serving the community for the sake of the church is done mostly by females, leaders probably won't invite the married but alone women to stay home.
Look, let the wheat and the tares grow together. If married women who won't replace God with their husband are to be considered tares, then leave them alone. God said so.
It's November. By now, most weddings have occurred, mainly between June and the first week in October. So, now, comes the seasons and times that marriage proposals are made - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day and Valentines Day.
Men, I doubt that there is, every has been or ever will be a woman who is praying for a husband who will make her be quiet, not allow her to speak, refuse to receive her input on family and business matters, and will just be expected to shut up, cook, clean, launder and open up...and, if she works, give up her money and have to ask permission to spend it AND to actually go anywhere outside the house. Yes, some women are so disliking of themselves that once they realize they have connected with that kind of man, they put up with it because they think they deserve it. Yet, I doubt if they pray for a man who they desire will treat them like they are less than human, treat the dog better, allow the dog to leave the house without permission and to have a treat every now and then and to communicate its' needs, but not the woman in the relationship.
And don't use the Bible to justify the treatment of the woman as less than a person. How dare a Black man, - and men of any other race/nationality who descended from people who were enslaved, oppressed, imprisoned for their origins, etc - get free from oppression then use the lessons they learned when being oppressed to then, oppress women? How dare you?
Need I say more?
Okay, I will.
Reread the second paragraph.
If you are not moved to reconsider your ways, and will side with the man who treats your daughters and granddaughters that way, then you have a problem, a spiritual (mental) problem. For, who on this earth believes that he was given a personal relationship just for his own personal pleasure of mistreating, demeaning, and bullying the significant other. What do you say at the end of the day? "Thank You, Lord (or whatever you call them) for giving me my own little woman to treat like crap. Amen." Is that what you pray? See, I told you. You are crazy. Mental. Spiritually sick. You know it. That is why you do it at home, under cover, not in public, although I've eye-witnessed a couple of crazy men mistreating their significant other in public.
Women, our mere presence changes the atmosphere. Our entrance into a room/an office/a church/a family, especially if we are the first one, changes the atmosphere. Minds, hearts and bodies begin to scramble "for the right place to stand".
Stand - an attitude toward a particular issue; a position taken in an argument.
synonyms:attitude, stance, point of view, viewpoint, opinion, way of thinking, outlook, standpoint, position, approach, thinking, policy, line
In areas of the church/business/health/emergency services/non-profit/government/etc, women are still making firsts...sadly, because all parts of the country and the world AND women are not in step with the (more/most ?) progressive areas.
When we enter the room, things change. Others present either decide to accept us or reject us. Much like a new baby or new member in a family has others wondering if they will do better for the sake of/to impress/to give good light on the family or will they think themselves already good enough and rightly centered in the way they live or present themselves or will they continue to do those things that may not be conducive to impressing or giving good light or encouraging the new member or will they decide to reject the new member openly or quietly.
Women cause the same reactions.
Will we accept her as the first doctor in this practice, service member in this fire department, realtor in this office, minister in this church, lineman on this crew?
The accepting ones may consider those who they know will reject her and how he will deal with those who reject her? Will he speak with them, try to win them over? Will he try to get them to just concede and work with the process? Will he encourage her...aloud or privately...against the naysayers?
Who will not accept her and who will be their cohorts? Who will they have to fight that don't agree with their rejection of her? Will they decide to openly or privately express their rejection? Will they be willing to draw discipline for their rejection of her? How will they work this out with the women in their own family, i.e., will they increase their conversation with family about disagreeing with women in that particular area OR will they hide their open/quiet rejection of the woman at work/church?
See, all these things go on when a woman enters the room.
It's also like a bully/bullied situation. Others have to decide how they will react to the bully and the one being bullied. Join in. Hide. Stand up for the bullied. Stand up to the bully. Become and remain silent hoping to not be a target and hoping the bully will stop.
When a woman enters the room, her presence changes the atmosphere.
Thank you, readers, for every private comment and for every bit of encouragement.
"Beloved, we ARE the children of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we KNOW that, when He shall appear, we SHALL be like Him; for we SHALL see Him as He is." I John 3:2
Hidden figures: How Black Women preachers spoke truth to power
February 23, 2017 9.06pm EST
Sojourner Truth Memorial in Florence, MA. Lynne Graves, CC BY-ND
Author Kenyatta R. Gilbert Associate Professor of Homiletics, Howard University
Each semester I greet the students who file into my preaching class at Howard University with a standard talk. The talk is not an overview of the basics – techniques of sermon preparation or sermon delivery, as one might expect. Outlining the basics is not particularly difficult.
The greatest challenge, in fact, is helping learners to stretch their theology: namely, how they perceive who God is and convey what God is like in their sermons. This becomes particularly important for African-American preachers, especially African-American women preachers, because most come from church contexts that overuse exclusively masculine language for God and humanity.
African-American women comprise more than 70 percent of the active membership of generally any African-American congregation one might attend today. According to one Pew study, African-American women are among the most religiously committed of the Protestant demographic – eight in 10 say that religion is important to them.
Yet, America’s Christian pulpits, especially African-American pulpits, remain male-dominated spaces. Still today, eyebrows raise, churches split, pews empty and recommendation letters get lost at a woman’s mention that God has called her to preach.
The deciding factor for women desiring to pastor and be accorded respect equal to their male counterparts generally whittles down to one question: Can she preach?
The fact is that African-American women have preached, formed congregations and confronted many racial injustices since the slavery era.
Here’s the historyThe earliest black female preacher was a Methodist woman simply known as Elizabeth. She held her first prayer meeting in Baltimore in 1808 and preached for about 50 years before retiring to Philadelphia to live among the Quakers.
First African-American church, founded by Rev. Richard Allen. D Smith, CC BY-NCAn unbroken legacy of African-American women preachers persisted even long after Elizabeth. Reverend Jarena Leebecame the first African-American woman to preach at the African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church. She had started even before the church was officially formed in the city of Philadelphia in 1816. But, she faced considerable opposition.
AME Bishop Richard Allen, who founded the AME Church, had initially refused Lee’s request to preach. It was only upon hearing her speak, presumably, from the floor, during a worship service, that he permitted her to give a sermon.
Lee reported that Bishop Allen, “rose up in the assembly, and related that [she] had called upon him eight years before, asking to be permitted to preach, and that he had put [her] off; but that he now as much believed that [she] was called to that work, as any of the preachers present.
Lee was much like her Colonial-era contemporary, the famed women’s rights activist Sojourner Truth. Truth had escaped John Dumont’s slave plantation in 1828 and landed in New York City, where she became an itinerant preacher active in the abolition and woman’s suffrage movements.
Fighting the gender narratives for centuries now, the Holy Bible has been used to suppress women’s voices. These early female black preachers reinterpreted the Bible to liberate women.
Truth, for example, is most remembered for her captivating topical sermon "Ar’nt I A Woman?,” delivered at the Woman’s Rights National Convention on May 29, 1851 in Akron, Ohio.
In a skillful historical interpretation of the scriptures, in her convention address, Truth used the Bible to liberate and set the record straight about women’s rights. She professed: “Then that little man in black there, he says women can’t have as much rights as men, because Christ wasn’t a woman! Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.”
Jarena Lee. TradingCardsNPS, CC BY Like Truth, Jarena Lee spoke truth to power and paved the way for other mid- to late 19th-century black female preachers to achieve validation as pulpit leaders, although neither she nor Truth received official clerical appointments.The first woman to achieve this validation was Julia A. J. Foote.
In 1884, she became the first woman ordained a deacon in the African Methodist Episcopal Zion AMEZ Church. Shortly after followed the ordinations of AME evangelist Harriet A. Baker, who in 1889 was perhaps the first black woman to receive a pastoral appointment. Mary J. Small became the first woman to achieve “elder ordination” status, which permitted her to preach, teach and administer the sacraments and Holy Communion.Historian Bettye Collier-Thomas maintains that the goal for most black women seeking ordination in the late 19th and early 20th centuries was simply a matter of gender inclusion, not necessarily pursuing the need to transform the patriarchal church.
Preaching justiceAn important voice was that of Rev. Florence Spearing Randolph. In her role as reformer, suffragist, evangelist and pastor, she daringly advanced the cause of freedom and justice within the churches she served and even beyond during the period of the Great Migration of 20th century.
In my recent book, “A Pursued Justice: Black Preaching from the Great Migration to Civil Rights,” I trace the clerical legacy of Rev. Randolph and describe how her prophetic sermons spoke to the spiritual, social and industrial conditions of her African-American listeners before and during the largest internal migration in the United States.
In her sermons she brought criticism to the broken promises of American democracy, the deceptive ideology of black inferiority and other chronic injustices.
Randolph’s sermon “If I Were White,” preached on Race Relations Sunday, Feb. 1, 1941, reminded her listeners of their self-worth. It emphasized that America’s whites who claim to be defending democracy in wartime have an obligation to all American citizens.
Randolph spoke in concrete language. She argued that the refusal of whites to act justly toward blacks, domestically and abroad, embraced sin rather than Christ. That, she said, revealed a realistic picture of America’s race problem.
She also spoke about gender discrimination. Randolph’s carefully crafted sermon in 1909 “Antipathy to Women Preachers,” for example, highlights several heroic women in the Bible. From her interpretation of their scriptural legacy, she argued that gender discrimination in Christian pulpits illustrated a misreading of scripture.
Randolph used her position as preacher to effect social change. She was a member and organizer for the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union(WCTU), which led in the work to pass the 18th Amendment, which made prohibition of the production, sale and transport of alcoholic beverages illegal in the United States. Her affiliation with the WCTU earned her the title “militant herald of temperance and righteousness.”
Today, several respected African-American women preachers and teachers of preachers proudly stand on Lee’s, Small’s and Randolph’s shoulders raising their prophetic voices.
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies you the right to grow. ~ Alice Walker
If they openly or clandestinely try to stop your advancement in life, then they are not your friend. A true lover, parent, acquaintance or leader will not try to stop you from growing emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or financially. Even if they don't agree with your (legal, non-harmful) methods, they will leave you alone to discover your path, rather than try to stop you. Who has time to stop someone from being who they want to be? A person who has too much time on their hands, need to be handling their own business, or wants you to fail.
Equality in relationships - My husband and I have not had five arguments over money in all our years of marriage. We understand that what DOES NOT equal power of one over the other, such as: Money, Oldest in age, level of education, gender, physical appearance, physical abilities, spiritual "age", title or level, denomination in which one worships or was raised, spiritual gifts, career, or level of employment compensation. Jesus made us all equal. Think as Jesus thinks.
Be aware of these alarms when seeking a new love relationship:
- requesting money or gifts too soon into the relationship - money can corrupt a
relationship in that the person will only be interested in the money that you give;
- requesting to move in soon into the relationship;
- requesting sex very early;
- moving items into your home one at a time;
- only late night visits, with the expectation of staying over since they arrived so late;
- desiring to move very fast (love, sex, marriage) without giving you information about
themselves (they could be hiding a bad life, but want to trap you into a marriage before you
discover their past);
- lack of boundaries, such as knowing when to end a date or phone conversation. Some people
want to get your mind, rather than your heart. If they need to stay and stay and stay or talk
and talk and talk, disregarding normal boundaries (1-2 hour phone conversations, 4-5 hour
- acting super spiritual because they know that you are a church person - if they have to MAKE
(rather than LET) their light shine, they may not have a light.
Remember, Jesus knocks. He doesn't barge in with falsities, embellishments and demands. Jesus draws with lovingkindness. He doesn't demand our love because He wants it to b genuine, not forced/faked.
Help others to listen to the woman in your life. Don't be so insecure that you can't give your lady credit for being smart outside the home, in spiritual matters and in issues besides homemaking and parenting.
Luke 1 - KJV and EXB The Lord told Zechariah that his child's name would be John.
When the kinfolk arrived to circumcise the child, Elizabeth told them his name
would be John. They ignored Elizabeth. They dismissed the woman's knowledge.
They made faces and gestures towards the husband about the woman's words.
The husband let them know that she was correct in naming the child John. From
the beginning, women have been dismissed, reduced, ignored and/or laughed at.
The world needs to learn to believe the woman first, without needing to check with
a man to see if the woman knows what she's talking about.
Beware of those who try to provoke you, so that you will end the relationship, and they can blame it on you. No matter whether the relationship is a friendship, eros love, church leader/subordinate, work leader/employee, or even a family relationship. Some, feeling guilty, will try to provoke you, so that you look like the guilty one and they can blame the parting-of-the-ways on YOU!
Stop asking everyone else what she wants. Ask her what she wants.
Mothers, teach your sons, all ages, how to communicate with you when you have a conflict with them. In teaching them how to communicate well with you, you will teach them how to communicate well with their significant other.
Mom, when you're mad about anything, your son can wash the dishes and make you happy. But, when they get married, and there is a problem in the relationship, no matter how many dishes they wash, floors they sweep or trash they take out, none of that will matter, if those things are not the issue in the relationship. Worse, you may relate to your son in the way that you don't even allow him to speak or do anything to fix whatever you're upset about with him. So, he grows up to get quiet when his significant other needs him to speak about whatever issue they have. All of these "communication" reactions leave issues poorly handled, which could lead to separation.
Moms, significant others need communication about the issue at hand. Teach your sons to communicate when they think become aware of a problem in any kind of relationship. Flowers, candy, cleaning, silence, or hiding may not always be enough.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS,
VISIT MY TWITTER PAGE ,
THERE IS A LOVE PRESCRIPTION FOR EACH DAY OF FEBRUARY.
Comment with your story. Feel free to use a nickname or psuedo name. Other social media options are free, but I chose to blog on a website so that you can respond with anonymity and express yourself freely.
Comment with your story. Feel free to use a nickname. Other social media options are free, but I chose to blog on a website so that you can respond with anonymity and express yourself freely.
Television and reality shows make drama look like fun and if you don’t have drama in your life then you are dull and unimportant. I haven’t watched a soap opera in decades, but I remember the drama. Drama doesn’t make you important. Drama doesn’t make you seem rich. Drama doesn’t make you popular….except among people who like drama. It is better to be "boring" and at peace than to always be up in the air about some fake or real crisis, if you have faith in God. Did Jesus go around trying to be in all the drama? No. He knew who He was and how important He was to God - as God, actually. Like yourself and you won’t need drama to feel important! Colossians 3:15.
What kind of god do you serve? Men who can hear God tell them to be everything to other people, but swear that God has told them to ignore their own wife or children spiritually, emotionally and/or financially. I Timothy 5:8.
When he mistakes the wife for the mistress:
- doesn't want to be seen in public or in pictures with the wife
(rather than with
- when in public with the wife, he acts like he doesn't know her,
tries not to be near her (rather than acting this way with the
- won't have sex with the wife because he promised the mistress
that he wouldn't (instead of refusing to have sex with someone
else because he has a wife).
- won't go to events with the wife because he's trying to hide
her existence in order to show faithfulness to the mistress
(instead of not having a mistress at all).
Note: The term "crazy" is not politically correct. Mentally ill/affected is probably more compassionate wording. The use of "crazy" is used in this post because it is a direct quote. People will mistreat you, then look at you sadly in pity as if they don't remember that they did it to you. In 2017, a woman who I don't even remember, approached me and said, adamantly and several times, that "crazy" people don't know that they are "crazy". But, people who change after being called out, even if only for a moment, aren't truly "crazy". They are devilish and intent on purposely upsetting your life/attitude/behavior. They know exactly what they are doing. She was sent by God to let me know something about a particular person in my life. Once you realize someone is not "crazy", give them as little time as possible. Walk away. Pray for their deliverance and knowledge of Christ. Just remember, whatever they do to you goes on their record, not on yours. How you react to what they do to you is what goes on your record.
Beware of the deceitful leader who will gain and convince followers that the ones bearing the Holy Ghost are the ones that are demons. Have you ever been in a circle, on a job, or in a family that rejected you and the Word of God? The devil will possess a person - a leader of some sort - and cause that leader to say that you, the saved one/Christian/Holy Ghost-filled one, is the demon. That demonic leader/fake friend/boss/relative and their followers will be convinced and thereby will be led away from Christ without even realizing it. Isaiah 5:20.
Who are these people that want you to allow them to bully you because they need to do it to feel and look like they are better than someone? THEN, they get mad at whoever refuses to submit to their bullying and can't understand why people aren't happy to be around them. Now, that's crazy! ☻
How the devil kills two birds with one stone: he makes one aggravate you and then you react in the wrong way, get hatred in your heart, clap back and become a bitter person. The devil got the one he convinced to be aggravating and the one that was being bothered by the aggravating person. Don't wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty.
NOT: God is husband's/man's god. Husband/man is woman's God.
IS: God is woman's God, no matter who else is in her life in any capacity.
God does not stamp God's approval on everything a male or husband says or orders because of his male gender.
Ladies, don't go to hell obeying a man instead of obeying God.
I was taught that when I give something, I should let it go. I should not check to see if they kept it, showed it off to other people, liked, gave it away, etc. Give with no strings attached. That being said, Give the prophesy or word of knowledge and let it go. It's not yours to check back on and harass the person about. It's their mail/message. Deliver it. "Read" it to them. Tell them who it's from. Then, leave them alone. In most circumstances, don't even let them explain to you what it means. Walk away in a way that lets them know that you aren't going to badger them about what the two of you just heard from God about the intimate parts of their life. The hearer needs to be free (free will) to do with it what God intended or not, without us fleshly, fallible humans making them think we are watching and judging every move they make or refuse to make. Never live your Christian life in a way that people think they need to hide from you. Hiding from another human gets you nowhere. GOD is the only ONE who can see all and has the Power to determine one's eternal home.
I have met the meanest, angriest, most cussing, screaming-est, most violent people who are seriously religious about fasting for God's will. It is bizarre how horrible people fast about their "Christian" superiority over other people that they look down on. They DON'T know Jesus! Isaiah 58:4 KJV - "Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high." (Note this EXB version! - "Even when you fast, you argue and fight and ·hit each other with your[ hit with wicked/sinful] fists. You cannot do these things as you do now and ·believe your prayers are[expect to be] heard ·in heaven[on high]."
Interesting point: A bully who claims to dislike you, will make every attempt to keep everyone's attention on you. You would think that the bully wouldn't want you to get any attention at all. The bully makes sure everyone is watching you - what you're wearing, how you sit, what you eat, how your hair looks, how you work or study, and especially how you react to how the bully points you out. S/he makes others afraid to speak to you and influences the dumb ones to hate you, etc. The bully always keeps the attention on the bullied person rather than trying to keep attention off the person. Perhaps, the bully feels insecure and keeps the attention on the bullied person so that people won't have time to see whatever the bully hates about or thinks is wrong with him/herself. Hmmmm.
I learned this from my friend Veronica before 2017: Make your ministry into your job/business, so that when a leader gets mad at you (the woman), wants to belittle you, or needs somebody to "parent", they can't "sit you down" from it because it is your job/business and no one can tell you to quit your job or close your own business. Who are these folk who think they can control a/any woman's life?
God uses your left-out/rejected situations to show you and them that you are of His royal priesthood, child of the Owner of every cow on every hill and that you don't need their attention, service organization, plate of food, etc to thrive. God, without need of their help or input, has already made a way for you to do and enjoy whatever He has for you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if he/she needs money from you or a bill paid by you soon (within a year) after having met you, then they are not interested in a friendship or relationship. They connected with you just to get money from you. Thereafter, the relationship, friendship or "mentoring" will always be about money. It's a relationship, alright, but not the kind that is fair, righteous, loving or one that you want. When money corrupts the relationship, let the relationship go.
Help your own people. Ministers will spend countless time praying for people at the altar, listening to people's problems on the phone or in person, advising others, but won't lay hands on their own family, listen for a significant amount of time to their own spouses/children/family members.
The man complains because she's in her lounge wear with her hair up when he leaves home in the morning and when he returns home at night. She's probably in her lounge wear whenever he sees her because he's always gone before she and most people rise out of bed AND returns home after she and most people are already in the bed. He's the one who's odd. Stay-at-home Moms, don't allow yourself to be condemned for having on pajamas when Dad leaves in the morning and returns at night. Truth be told, you need to speak up and point out that he leaves before the sun rises earlier than is required for him to get to work on time) and stays away until hours past his clock-out time. So, of course, you have on pajamas when he leaves and when he returns. Most people are in bed clothes at those times of the day. If the problem is that he's never home during hours that he could or should be, speak up.
Titled church people who call the husband by his title but won't call the wife by her title? To the left. Galatians 3 KJV 26 "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." NOW, some would say that they don't believe the wife (woman), especially, is in Christ spiritually or as it relates to a calling. Well, who are they to determine that? Why do they think they are right in determining or denying what God has called you to be and what someone has ordained you to be? Better yet, try on them what they do to you. Ezekiel would probably love that. God used him to show His people how they looked when they acted in their own authority.